By: Orlette
Sunday, April 3, 2011
The Person I Admire the Most: My Mom
My mother cries, I see her tears drop. Some theft took all her money, but again and again, my mother tried. My mother worked very hard to make her living. After sending us off to school, she would go to corination market. Located in the heart of downtown Kingston, Jamaica, where she would but and sell oranges, bananas, and sweet sugar cane. It wasn't easy lifting all those loads and staying up late just to make a profit, but she had no other alternative because of the little education she received. Coming home one night my mother was robbed and compelled to give up all her money, my mother cried but again she tried. My fahter passed away when me and my twin brother was just 8 months old. It was very hard taking care of twins; I was very sickly and had to rush from one hospital to next. My mother almost gove up on me because taking care of a sick child and raising eight children without a father was hard, but my mother held her ground she was always around. Sometimes it's heart breaking hearing my mother reminisced about her passed, and all she went through for us. My mother never let us down. It was December 2,1992 when my mother migrated to the U.S, she was in her senoir years, but in six months she filed for us. It took us seven years to get to the U.S, but my mother was always optimistic, and for that reason time flies. Here we are today thanking mom for the opportunities and experience she gave us. The person I admire the most is my mother, because she raised us without a father. She worked very hard to send us to school, put food on the table, and in her senoir years took us all to the U.S. Sorry mom I have no PHD or a lawyers degree, but i will see to it that my children your grandchildren does not forget your legacy. So mom smile and sit back because you have accomplished alot." I am very proud of you MOM"!
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1 comment:
Hi Orlette!
I can definitely see that Bonnie's essay inspired you in writing your beginning and end! It was moving from the start-- I especially liked your first line ("My mother cries, I see her tears drop."), and I really liked how you ended your essay speaking to your mother like Bonnie did.
My biggest advice to you is to separate your paragraphs because right now, it is one long paragraph. It will help us to understand your structure and help us make sense of your information. Make sure that each paragraph is about something new, and your main idea should be clear.
You are a natural poet, Orlette! Keep on writing.
Karen
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