Friday, January 29, 2010

"My Name"

My name is Angie, which is a somewhat short version of my mothers name Angelica. I'm her last born of 10 children, makes me feel special. I reflect my mom more than any other of my other brothers or sisters strong, independent and caring. My mom raised all her children on her own with really no help from our dad. That was a challenge she faced. She always said we were going to be ready for WAR. She taught us how to do everything on our own. She would say "I'm not going to be here forever so you need to take care of yourselves and each other". She never showed us the hardship and struggle she went through. That really inspired me to be the strong independent women I am today. I am raising my two daughters the same way. I'm so proud they are great kids! I have taken a lot of my moms characteristics. My older brothers and sisters respect me for the good job I'm doing.

It means messenger of God and an angel in Greek and Latin. I would say that fits me pretty well. I am a mystery, something like out of the normal or invisible. People can sense a strong presence from me in a good way, interesting! I'm very spiritual and passionate. I have a purpose. I ask myself "What is life?" for me my children, family and friends with out any of them what would it be? It's love really. My heart is full of love. Life for me is a walk in the park on a sunny day and just enjoying the beauty that surrounds us all. That's the meaning of my life.

I am happy with my name. It's what it was meant to be. Just wish I would of gotten a middle name like Faith or Joy. That would of made my name more complete.

8 comments:

karen said...

Angie,

I am officially blown away by your writing. It shows structure, but most importantly, HEART. "For me a walk in the park on a sunny day and just enjoying the beauty that surrounds us all. That's the meaning of my life." Such a simple expectation of life- you said a lot in a few words. Your choices of Faith and Joy for a middle name also tell a lot about your values. A name is not simply a name.

I can't believe your mother had TEN children. Now that is strength! Do you remember when Sandra Cisneros referenced her grandmother in "My Name"? Telling the story of her grandmother and how her life relates to that story? I'd love for you to expand on your first paragraph (or maybe add a another paragraph following the first)- how specifically do you reflect your mom? What details from your memory show her strength, independence, and caring? What details from your life show your independence and strength (you already wrote about how you are caring)? The challenge will be in how you add these details, but I know you can do it.

I can't wait to see where you go with this piece!

Karen

cindy said...

Wow girl thats aloy of butt kickin i love it.keep it upp

juventino said...

Hey! Angie you really express your self on that writting. I really like it! Its so deep. and full of sentiment. Like the teacher said ! You put your heart . congrats!

izolda said...

hello,Angie.I like your writing.Its really strong.

karen said...

I love the additions you made to your piece, Angie. The quote and your reference to war really spoke to me. By adding quotes to our writing, we add proof to what we are saying. Great job, Angie.

In class today, we are going to work on editing. One thing I'd like you to think about are run-on sentences. I would stay away from sentences that are more than 3 lines long. So, your sentence: "She taught us how to do everything on our own, she would say to us "I'm not going to be here forever so you need to take care of yourselves and each other" can be split into 2 sentences. ---> She taught us how to do everything on our own. She would say to us, "I'm not going to be here forever so you need to take care of yourselves and each other." Edit your piece and search for other run-on sentences. Splitting them up will help your readers understand your ideas more clearly. Let me know if you have questions!

karen said...

Angie,

You have taken your piece to a higher level. I especially liked the addition you made about your daughters. Your piece is so much more personal than when you first started. I hope you are proud of yourself! I think you also did an excellent job getting rid of those run-on sentences.

In class today, we are going to be talking more about editing, and I'd like you to focus on punctuation- and more specifically, the apostrophe. What are the rules of using an apostrophe? Do you know them? I'm going to bring a book for you took look at in class. Knowing and applying these rules to your writing will help your writing improve.

I'm glad to see you posting.

Karen

karen said...

Angie-

I want to teach you about complete sentences- though I want you to think about whether you want to leave your sentences as they are to keep your personal style.

A complete sentence has a subject (what/who the sentence is about) and a predicate (what the subject is doing- basically the rest of the sentence after the subject). For example, in "She taught us how to do everything on our own," the subject is "She" and the predicate is "taught us how to do everything on our own."

Some of your sentences are not complete. For example: "Angie, which is a somewhat short version of my mothers name Angelica," does not have a main verb ("which is...." is a phrase inserted into the middle of the sentence to further explain Angelica). I would either change this sentence to "My name is Angie, which is a somewhat short version of my mothers name Angelica." or something like that. Or you could change it to "Angie is a somewhat short version of my mothers name Angelica." Another sentence that is not complete is "For me a walk in the park on a sunny day and just enjoying the beauty that surrounds us all." It does not have a main subject. This is a tricky conversation that might be better to talk about in person, but I thought you might be able to figure it out if I pointed it out to you.

Have you looked for apostrophes? I found at least two places where you need one :)

Finally (yes there's still more work to be done), I'd like you to study the rules for using commas on:
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/commas.asp

Use this new information to find places in your writing that need commas. Good luck! I know you can do it, Angie!

karen said...

one more tip:

"would have" is the true spelling of "would of" :)