Sugar pillows, gum drop rain flying high mint filled sky
Sweet dreams consumed the mind
Chocolate stream floating things marshmallow clouds feel so warm ,bright pop boats go floating by Oreo streets so colorful and busy
sweet dreams consume the mind
Powered sugar in the winter time cinnamon sticks in the ground peppermint leaves hanging down sweet dreams lickerish night
Jolly rancher streaming lights making up my sweet felt night as sweet tarts fall slowly to the ground my sweet wonderland quickly slows down into the night i then awake to not a sweet thing in sight
Sweet dreams Goodnight
Sweet dreams consumed the mind
Chocolate stream floating things marshmallow clouds feel so warm ,bright pop boats go floating by Oreo streets so colorful and busy
sweet dreams consume the mind
Powered sugar in the winter time cinnamon sticks in the ground peppermint leaves hanging down sweet dreams lickerish night
Jolly rancher streaming lights making up my sweet felt night as sweet tarts fall slowly to the ground my sweet wonderland quickly slows down into the night i then awake to not a sweet thing in sight
Sweet dreams Goodnight
Saleema,
ReplyDeleteYour poem makes me want to eat candy and brings new meaning to a candy land! It reminds me of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory :) I loved the phrase "sugar pillows" and your sensory language, like "streaming lights" and "bright pop boats." So interesting!
Please re-read your poem and make sure you proofread for typos- for example did you mean to type "power sugar"? Or did you mean powdered sugar?
Also, be sure to think about your line breaks (when you press return or go to the next line of text). Sometimes poets move to the next line to indicate a pause in the poem's rhythm. Sometimes they write only one word on a line or a short phrase to highlight that phrase's importance. Take a look at Jesus's poem, "Why?" to see an example of how he used line breaks to organize his poem. Good luck!
Your poem wants me to eat a lot of candy. Your poem was cool. I like your poem.
ReplyDelete